This is not at all as objective as it should be. But I want to write this way, just for once. A break from the objective me I try to be.
- Never wanted a child.
- Served as a trophy and status symbol on good days when I presented better than other people surrounding me
- Shamed/threatened/controlled/hidden when I did not meet expectations.
- Belief that everything I own, is his. And that respect is commanded from me for what he has given.
- Served as a bargaining chip to test people’s allegiance to him using threats; am I more disposable or him? Eg. Either I move out or she does. Anger when him.