MindWanderings

The thoughts & ramblings of a young mind

Motivation clues

This is not at all as objective as it should be.  But I want to write this way, just for once. A break from the objective me I try to be.

Father

  • Never wanted a child.
  • Served as a trophy and status symbol on good days when I presented better than other people surrounding me
  • Shamed/threatened/controlled/hidden when I did not meet expectations.
  • Belief that everything I own, is his.  And that respect is commanded from me for what he has given.
  • Served as a bargaining chip to test people’s allegiance to him using threats; am I more disposable or him?  Eg.  Either I move out or she does. Anger when him.

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