The thoughts & ramblings of a young mind

Archive for the month “September, 2018”

Isolation. I’m fixing it this year.

I’m going to catch up with a very dear friend I had not seen in more than half a decade.  This is unfortunately more normal than it should be.  Occurrences of not seeing people for long periods of time.

I have so much trouble staying in touch with everyone when I lived and work all over the place. I liked it transiently but have since learned I mentally don’t deal well with living nomadic lifestyles long term. It’s so isolating. I make such transient friends and colleagues that last a few months. 9-10 cycles of that later, I no longer care enough to put in effort. Too much work for something that probably won’t last, in my jaded mind.

If I didn’t get to know you, I’m sorry. I was in happy place, but I had mostly given up forming new friendships and connections. It was my fault. I spread myself too thin. I’m sure you are all cool people.

Thanks to all my friends with whom I somehow maintain a semblance of a friendship even though we only ever meet once every year.. or two.. or more.

Relocating 6 times in 3 years is 6 times too many.

I’m done with this lifestyle.

More than anything else, I find I’m craving the deep connections I rarely got for so many years.  Deep, meaningful conversations that mean something.  I think it’s a craving developed from years of shallow, inconsequential friendships and conversations.

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