Is this potential relationship healthy? My gut says no.
I worked hard my entire life to learn to be comfortable emulating exactly who I am. To become an authentic, genuine, well-adjusted, respectful, and introspective person. To me, these are the most important qualities in a person. I value having substance and good work ethic, and strive to live up to my own standards. I thrive in making logical choices, using my introspective nature to make what I believe to be the best decision given the situation.
Meanwhile, the person I’m talking to right now.. when I gave my passionate, well-thought out reason for accepting to go out with him, his return answer to the question for asking me out was “..because you’re cute”. I gave him a chance to expand, exclaiming in shock “that’s IT?!” before he mumbled some bullshit answer of it just feeling right. Meanwhile, the rest of the day and his messages pointed to the fact that he seemed to appreciate me primarily, if not only, physically. He wanted to cuddle more than talk when he didn’t even know me that well. He playfully mentioned “ruining” me. He told me I looked good in my clothing. He did not seem overtly interested in my life and my work. Fucking hell mate, I did NOT work 8 fucking years to be your little sex toy and arm candy. I am pretty offended right now. If this is his authentic self, I don’t like it. Looks are not everything. I am not 1-dimensional.
More than this, I am uncomfortable with the anime he watches and posts he makes frequently, in particular, how hyper-sexualized the women/girls are in the anime and in the pictures. I feel like the female gender is reduced to being objectified and that it is uncomfortable to watch, providing little character to each character beyond their physical desirability.
His desire to be so close to me so fast, and to talk about dates.. 3 months in advance, meeting the parents, etc, scares me off. I feel like he is living in his idea of who I am based on who he has built me up to be in his fantasy world. He does not know me.
I first wanted to date him because I saw him for who he was in class, someone who was hard-working, had similar interests in some aspects, and a decent person. But I am not sure I can deal with everything else I am seeing.
Now that I have what I suspect is happening, I’ll let my gut take over on the date. Based on his fantasies of going out with me months in advance after just a single date, I suspect this may not go over well. These may just be irreconcilable differences that I just listed.