The moment when you realize one of your references you used on EVERY single application may have costed you a year’s worth of applications and interviews (8+..) and been a good part of the reason for your failure to get jobs.
HOLY ROYAL MOTHER FUCKING GOD. I kept giving her amazing reviews too. Fuck. No more.
I’m just devastated.
And now not only am I feeling down, but I’m terrified how the rest of my references are. I. NEED. good references. But I screw up on every single job in an unimpressive way. I’m just.. not meant to be doing this. I’m a total fraud, and even the imposter syndrome isn’t true because I’m NOT a frigging high achiever no matter how hard I try. I’m not top of the class. I’m a mediocre nobody struggling silently in a field I was never meant to be in.
gotta live and learn. bad references can fuck you up real good.