Fuck I really want to talk to someone and spill my guts out.
I have ZERO idea what’s happening in one course of 15 people where we’ve been deriving formulas all class long and you can bet I’m pretty damn terrified. My research course is even more self-directed as my primary supervisor can’t help or email me due to injuries sustained over the break. And my third course that people say is hard and full of memorization is pretty much my easiest course right now all things considered. I’m in a pretty foul mood right now. This was supposed to be my easy semester. Fuck, that’s on top of the fact the guy I thought liked me was actually getting fucking married as mentioned prior that I still am stunned about. I’m 100% ready for a break, world.
I sit and I pretend that I can get along without anybody else as I slowly wither up into the true heartless soul that I am. Loneliness and fear cause us to slowly build walls around ourselves isolating ourselves and causing potential friends and contacts to seem threatening. Then we decide that we don’t really need any friends and that we can get along just fine without people thanks. This goes on for a while until you realize that that you actually do need people. But by then the wall is too high, and the only friends you have left are the bricks you used to build it.