Regrets and Shame.
You guys want to know the truth? I’m ashamed of nearly every opportunity I’ve done. I wanted to do everything myself, to say that I got it myself and I was able to support myself because of it, but somehow I always fall back on my family to support me to enable me to take on the opportunities I have. I have never felt proud of myself. These were not my independent successfully achieved opportunities. I have a middle class family doing all the paying behind me, and that’s what I’m so ashamed of. There has barely ever been a single paid or unpaid opportunity that I could have done without my family’s monetary contribution. I feel.. useless. Incapable. A true shame.
I have so many regrets too. I just realized how far the people I used to like, have gone. All those opportunities I missed. It’s really unfortunate, particularly because I had an inkling all of them have liked me previously at some point in time when I liked them back but the train passed because I didn’t do anything even when they gave me a nudge, a hint. It’s hard to live with regrets like these.