MindWanderings

The thoughts & ramblings of a young mind

Regrets and Shame.

You guys want to know the truth?  I’m ashamed of nearly every opportunity I’ve done.  I wanted to do  everything myself, to say that I got it myself and I was able to support myself because of it, but somehow I always fall back on my family to support me to enable me to take on the opportunities I have.  I have never felt proud of myself.  These were not my independent successfully achieved opportunities.  I have a middle class family doing all the paying behind me, and that’s what I’m so ashamed of.  There has barely ever been a single paid or unpaid opportunity that I could have done without my family’s monetary contribution.  I feel.. useless.  Incapable.  A true shame.

I have so many regrets too.  I just realized how far the people I used to like, have gone.  All those opportunities I missed.  It’s really unfortunate, particularly because I had an inkling all of them have liked me previously at some point in time when I liked them back but the train passed because I didn’t do anything even when they gave me a nudge, a hint.  It’s hard to live with regrets like these. 

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