MindWanderings

The thoughts & ramblings of a young mind

Hatred. Frustration. Expression.

I don’t like writing so many negative blogs, but I really need to put another one of these out there.  For my own sanity and pent-up frustration.

So we get into a disagreement about a random, unimportant topic.  He continually refuses to acknowledge my conclusion based on what I know about the situation of which he knows none about except what I have said, but offers his opinion anyways..  as fact (apologies for the long-winded sentence).  So I start getting frustrated.  He’s not listening.

The moment he senses my frustration, he not only entirely disregards my opinion and knowledge of the situation, but shuts me down entirely, telling me harshly that I may NOT raise my voice at him.  And that I better not get into a verbal argument with him about the situation because he WILL win all arguments no matter what.  And then continues calmly about his opinion on the matter.

I refused to look at him or talk to him after that.  I was so mad.  I felt so disrespected.  I am not a dog.  I am not someone to be talked down to.  I know my own self-worth, and it’s more than he’s ever seen me as.  He’s put me down for everything, even the jobs I take.  All he sees of my job is that I dirtied his property, his car.  And everyday after hours and hours of fucking backbreaking work outside, he greets me by calling me a fucking name.  Black person.  African.  Anything along those lines.  Because of my tan from work.  And then he tells me my work must be easy because I come home early.  No.  That’s fucking gigant-ass no.  I was fucking dying out there in 35 degrees under the sun.  I came home early because I worked fucking fast so I could get out of the heat.  It was that bad.  I would cut my own pay to escape my job faster.

Anyways.  It doesn’t matter what I think.  Because he refuses to listen.    To hear.  He can only accept what he thinks on the matter.  All he cares about is himself and his obviously “right” opinion.  In every matter.  Nothing else matters or can be right.  He’s like a fucking alpha dog trying to use threats to keep his underdogs in check.

That disrespectful arrogant self-centered prideful prick.

Fucking bastard.

I’m going out.  I can’t stand this place.

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