Troubled & confused.
He deliberately bumped into me after what I’m pretty sure was me fucking up and getting caught staring at him in the previous class although I’m not sure how the hell he caught me from halfway across of the class of 400 students in the lecture hall. I couldn’t focus on my midterm after that. He was sitting behind me. I feel so bad for the people I do this to.. I wish I wasn’t so passive. And I still doubt myself about recognizing him as the guy from before. I want to ask so badly if he was the guy from last semester but I’m not sure how to ask without it coming across as really creepy and weird if he wasn’t him or forgot the whole incident (though I doubt he’d forget).
I really do want to say something. But beyond my passiveness and shyness stopping me.. I found out he’s younger than me by at least a year or two. I’ve never liked someone younger and wanted to actually pursue it. Unconventional, does it work? I don’t know.. maybe I should stop worrying and over-thinking, but I really do think there’s something there from the number of times I seem to run into him..
Aaaand now I’m rambling. I’ll shut up. I know the advice I’d give is to go for it. BUT AHHHH. IT’S SO MUCH MORE NERVE-WRACKING THAN IT SOUUUUUUUNDS. I like my list of excuses. I’m such a girl.
Please. Calm down, stop beating so rapidly, heart. You’re making me think irrationally. I can’t bear it.