You know what I find is true of all walk of life?
People gravitate towards passionate people.
This applies to both finding partners, hiring employers, etc. We all like passionate people because they like what they do, so they will do it well, and do it happily. And they will be genuine about it. So then the problem arises: what if what you like to do is unmarketable? Or, for me, both looked down upon by my parents and representative of a very small niche side business?
My technique of coping is.. pretending to like what I do for my studies. But I feel myself dying inside. I hate pretending. With a passion. I don’t feel genuine. I feel like a fake. A complete, utter fake. A gigantic endless pit of nothing. Sometimes I hear my classmates talk so passionately about school subjects like a hobby, but I can’t. I smile weakly, feigning interest but my self-esteem dropping lower and lower. Right now, jobs are sparse. When only the top-notch people are chosen, it’s either from connections, where, hopefully you were able to demonstrate your genuine passion for the job or you gain some some nice shiny credentials complete with a load of meaningful experience and better yet, some awards to top that all up like the perfect burger. Oh, I’ve got experience. But it’s all forced; I force myself to get this experience to look good .. on paper. I try to convince myself I like what I’m doing. I try to be open and try new things. But on the job, despite my best efforts, even working more time than others, I hardly ever perform as well. But what do you do when you’ve otherwise run out of money and options to keep exploring for some secondary passion besides your unmarketable passion?
I can’t even discuss with with my parents.
When I tell them I don’t like what I do.. when I tell them this truth and start contemplating where I started to go wrong.. my father yells at me, turns violent, and won’t give me my space. Tells me he told me from the very beginning I was an idiot. That he was all-seeing and knew it already. I want to shut the door, but flings himself against it, holding it open, and furiously continues yelling. My mother tells him to stop, that this doesn’t help, and he tells her he needs to reprimand me and put me in my place.
I’m really happy for those of you who have found a passion which you can find a job niche for.
I don’t know what to do in my case. Maybe I’m trying too hard. What would you do?
and here is where I go off-topic in my love of pondering life on the bus with what-if questions..
Something I’ve been thinking about these past few days, is how large of a variety of jobs would arise if large mechanical machines never existed at all. So basically.. turning back time. Clothing would be handmade, farming would be done on a smaller scale.. just a lot of jobs requiring labor would arise. This almost seems like a utopian world to me. It screams JOBS! JOBS! JOBS! to me in a much wider variety of work. And it would be much more intuitive and apprentice/experience-based learning. University wouldn’t be necessary. I mean, heck, 4-8+ years to get a job? Get a LIFE! I would have so much I would love to do that would be conducive to the society whether it be ___________, ________ , _____, etc. I just feel like people in general would appreciate all these things so much more as they take much more time, effort and love and they would be so much better made. Time would be a lot slower, and people would be more peaceful in mind given the slower pace of life.
I really hate this fast, materialistic world that I think has caused many problems to arise, beyond simply lack of jobs, but also detrimental on a larger scale beyond simply us humans. For us, I feel like it’s almost unrealistic the pace we’re moving at. We keep trying to move ahead, to move faster and faster, but all that really means is putting more pressure on the future generations who have the burden to sprint to keep up with the faster movement of lifestyle, and go through more schooling to deal with it. Is this really what we want? I feel we’re almost treated like robots, going through a mechanical system. The schools doesn’t care about you. All they care about how much money they get from you. Then they spit you back out, whether you’re ready or not for the unforgiving society that lies before you. Then it’s up to you to make it or break it. Some people get lucky. Some people don’t.
I think we’re absolute apex predators that have been corrupted from having too much power like that of a dictator and on top of that, have too much energy to waste given our survival is very likely and food is abundant (or appears, despite my belief we are going over optimal yield far too much by means of technology to push it to the brink), that we’ve lost appreciation of nature, of what exists prior to our existence on this world. Instead of enjoying what we have and what the world has to offer, we’re pushing for more and more. To do so, we create artificial means such as technology, and the more we find, the more technology we’re more inspired to use, and the nasty cycle continues as we try to satisfy an infinite craving generation after generation. So I do have to admit I wonder sometimes, how much better the world would be with the extinction of humans. Maybe this would allow a new, fresh, better start than this thoroughly molested dying world of ours, with only ourselves to blame for this mess.
My thoughts. My two cents.