MindWanderings

The thoughts & ramblings of a young mind

Sometimes, I wonder.

What if we woke up everyday as a different person, remembering only that one person’s thoughts?  I wonder what you would see.  I wonder what painful or joyful pasts you would feel.  The person you loved?  You were him and he was you only a few days ago.  You knew, he knew.  But divided by shyness, you are not one, but two segregated souls, searching, searching, and never finding because words form a barrier thicker than emotion, segregating yearning from reality.  Perhaps someone sees, someone understands, but as for you two,  you both forgot, remembering only what the physical being you are now, remembers.  Perhaps we are already living this, but can’t remember.  What if?

And now, what if there were no barriers of shyness and control, but emotions ran freely and openly?  You would know the instant you fall for him and you would know immediately if he mirrored your feelings.  What if history was laid out, and everyone knew what everyone else went through?  Misunderstanding, no longer an issue, suppressed feelings, no longer viable, and the reality of people’s souls come into light.  For this, I wish for.  I only hope that anger or bitter feelings would not ruin such a beautiful state.  What a beautiful world then.  Everyone, acting open and true to their feelings for it would not be possible to fake.  Their passions even, their hobbies, their very state of minds.. all disclosed.  Privacy?  Privacy does not exist when you are one in such a close way.

I wonder how it’s like when disclosure is the norm.

“What you want most you push away from you.
You want more than you care to admit.”
Tarjei Vesaas, The Bridges

 

My song of the moment: “So sick”

In a year or two, you will look back and laugh, shaking your head, wondering why you were so sappy and weird.   Be strong, me!  Be strong!  For yourself.  Your yearnings. Your desires.

You will live another day!  So chin up, cheer up!

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